Backwards

Today's blog is dedicated to my very special friend Allison. She is 19 today and has had a crazy amount of impact on me over the last two years. Love you Allie.

I've been reading about practical miracles. Opening yourself to the idea of an opportunities where God can use you in ways that are practical yet life altering. The message is clear and something we would all love to be involved in I think. The execution of the message or challenge is where things get a little tricky. I think we so often look at our limitations or our strengths and choose what we will apply ourself to using those guidelines. Makes total sense to me. I'm someone who knows my shortcomings and fears failing people so when I do, its crushing for me. To protect myself I will attempt things that could only affect me negatively and not anyone else. Can you relate? Ok, but here is my challenge, and I think Christ's as well, what if your thoughts started at a point where we felt the most inadequate. At a point where our weakness actually created more space and opportunity for God's supernatural power to be demonstrated. Hmmm, So the bigger the gap between what we can do and what God can do through us, the greater the outcome. What if we looked at opportunities in this way? It would change everything about what we commit to do for Him. The thing to remember here is that it it is not our ability but, God's power through us. For that to happen you must believe that if you have invited Christ to be in control of your life, than we can trust that He is always there, making His power available to us. And that we need to be intentionally looking for those Christ would put in our path and paying attention to how Christ would want us to respond. You know that feeling, the nudge, you try to ignore but know that its something we should really investigate and follow through on. Ugh! "Why does He always think we want to try and tackle the challenges He puts in front of us." Well, I can tell you why, but it doesn't make it easier for me either. It's because He is our creator and is aware of the power that He makes available to us, and what it's capable of. This is the point where we live by faith and turn on the autopilot so He can move through us. We must also trust in His presence with us always. Offering to us all His ability, wisdom, confidence, etc. Whatever it we would need to accomplish His will. Two verses that speak of Christ's presence with us at all times are Matt 28:18-20 and Acts 1:4-8. I want to create in myself a backwards way of thinking that starts with what I can't do alone and ends with the amazing thing God can do through me.

Atonement

Sabotage

I'm reading a book by C.S. Lewis called "Mere Christianity". I remember a couple of years ago hearing our pastor talk about how C.S. Lewis began as an atheist. His argument of being an atheist and for becoming a christian was that atheism turns out to be too simple. Lewis states that if the whole universe has no meaning, we should never have found out that it has no meaning. He goes on to talk about evil in a similar way. That evil, when you examine it, turns out to be the pursuit of some good in the wrong way. That to be bad we must have good things to want then to pursue in them in the wrong way. That we must have impulses which were originally good in order to be able to twist and pervert them. This idea of evil coming out of a corrupted good gets even bigger in his following chapters. He then speaks of whether or not there are two equal independent powers. One good, one evil.   C. S. Lewis calls this view of two independent powers, Dualism. He then defends his belief in Christianity over Dualism, as the good and strongest power by saying- the powers which enable evil to carry on are powers given it by goodness.All the things which enable a bad man to be effectively bad are in themselves good things. For example: cleverness, good looks, strong will, existence itself.  And that there is no experience of anyone liking badness just because it is bad.  The closest we can get to it is, cruelty.  But in real life people are cruel for one of two reasons- they are sadist, a sickness that makes cruelty a cause of pleasure to them, or for the sake of something they are going to get out of it- money, power, or safety.  That is why this theory doesn't jive. It can not work without first being good. The New Testament talks much about a Dark Power in the universe. A mighty spirit who was held responsible for death, disease, and sin. Lewis continues by saying that both Christianity and Dualism agree that this universe is at war. But, it does not think that the war is between two independent powers It is a rebellion and that we are living in the part of the universe occupied by the rebel. This is our war! Our King has come to battle with us disguised as the Holy Spirit. We must sabotage the plans of the rebel. When we go to church it is like getting secret intel from our army. That's why the enemy is so anxious to keep us from going. He is playing on our laziness and conceit. ( What church is and looks like for each of us is a whole nother can of worms...not today.)
Interesting isn't it, this way of thinking about christianity? Okay now, what do you think? This is food for thought. I want to hear your thoughts.

The Process

Yesterday I became increasingly frustrated with the bickering going on between two of my boys. I giggle as I write this because even if I try and keep the boys anonymous, those who know me know I have three sons but only 2 of them are verbal. So you can figure out who I'm talking about without to much effort. Well yes those two boys were bickering and I needed them to stop! Now folding and putting away their own laundry is one of their regular chores, but on this particular day I made them fold and put away everyones laundry. They knew I meant business and didn't fuss. One of the sayings we live by in our house is "quick, complete, and sweet." Do the job your given right away, no lollygagging. Do it completely. And do it sweetly, no complaining. I was so pleased with how they followed this family rule in doing the laundry. When I checked to see the finished product. The drawers weren't as tidy as I left them. Some random T shirts may have been in the wrong places, but for a 7, and 13 year old, the job was done fairly well. The process by which they did the task in was awesome! They had obeyed me well.
I think God is most interested in our obedience. It is not so much about accomplishing the goal He has put before us, as it is the process we go through to accomplishing that goal. We have nothing to do with what will follow our obedience. That is where we need to have faith that God uses our efforts. Moment by moment obedience is the goal. His purpose is the process.

superman

Insist in hope! When we join people who believe in God, we are saying... there is an answer, there is another way, there is still mystery/something unexplainable. That in our suffering there is someone going through with us. Through it. not stuck in it. It means staring pain and suffering right in the eyes and refusing to believe that this is all there is.
On Thurs. nights my son McKay, whose brain and body have been devastated by a terrible virus, goes to hippo therapy. Crazy name for therapy on horseback. Not hippo back. McKay suffers from many things one of them being sensory disfunction, which mean his whole body withdraws from any kind of touch. Basically he can't even stand his skin. The worst of this issue is in his hands and head. To ride his horse he must where a helmet and to get his horse to move he must pat pat on the horses back. This is one of his goals. He must get the horse moving. Touching the horse hair for McKay is something like us reaching our hands into a bowl of slithery snakes. This last Thursday night I stood by the training ring and watched him in awe. Two other issues McKay works through to be able to ride is that he struggles to find his body is space. Especially his torso. This is our fifth week of therapy and they have been working on getting McKay to hold himself up, centered on top of the horse. He keeps wanting to allow gravity to push him off one of the sides. After a few weeks of trial and error they have realized that he seems to slide off one side more than the other and so the put a stirrup on that side. They have also recognized that somehow his sweet little damaged brain becomes more functional on the horse riding backwards. Lastly it takes a leader to direct the horse, 2 physical therapists to hold onto a belt around McKay's waist and an occupational therapist to put a hand in the middle of his back to remind him to sit up and to encourage him to use his hands to get the horse going. On this last Thursday, I was overwhelmed by the Holy Spirit to just stop and realize what had been achieved. McKay was riding a trotting horse as these four ladies ran along side it for over and hour. He was laughing his belly laugh. And when the horse would stop McKay would lay his whole body down, on it's hind end, ( he's sitting facing the tail ,remember) wrap his arms around the belly and just nuzzle in and love his horse. When he would sit back up his little face was covered with horse hair. It was in that moment that I realized all the possibilities we have in Christ, in hoping. I never would have guessed that my son would enjoy or even be able to ride a horse. The moment was surreal, moving, he became invincible, my superman. My husband said it was the equivalent to an out of the park home run.
I know that on this journey we are taking with McKay there will be more suffering, But I hope I can realize the force of that suffering and know I'm not alone in it and use the emotion to push me forward. To insist in hope for others in their journey. I want to be apart of a people who improvise and adapt and innovate and explore new ways to get things done. I know His vision for my and McKays will take everything I have. It is calling me to greatness. To be a superman, women. I only hope it is somewhere inside of me, that I can find it, and that I know there many in it with me.

remade

What is a given about we humans who are trying to live like Christ, is that we have all fallen short. We have all stumbled in different ways. But let's not get stuck identifying ourselves as first and foremost sinners. I used to live in this guilt on a regular basis. Never feeling enough. I thought I was bad. Hopeless to sin. That the amount of time I spent in His word or in interaction with Him was never enough. That my attitude and actions... stunk. And to be honest., they did. However, I was defeated before I even began. The problem there was less about the amount I was doing and more about the attitude I was doing it in. Guilt, was a big issue for me. A soft spot, that the devil used against me. I sure he thought he would convince me I was never doing enough. And he often did. I would be so defeated trying that I was drained by emotions of guilt and to busy worrying to do more. It was in my early motherhood years that someone identified this trap as the devil for me. I began asking myself a regular question. What is this motivation to do more I'm feeling? Is it positive or negative motivation.
The studying of God's word and a relationship of continuous dialogue with Him is a must! These disciplines and community with other believers, is the way to a deeper understanding of who Christ was and is in us. But lets do it because He has faith in us. Ok I know I'm kind of stuck in this message of God's faith in us. I just am challenged to not forget what he did for us on the cross, ( Rom. 6 :5, NLT ) We are united with Him, and free from sin's hold on us. He thought we were worth it!!!! He wants to remake us. That old creature we once were might try to raise it's head, but remind it that we are a new creation in Christ, being made into all that God intended for us to be.
We are all in different places in our stories of faith, forgiveness, and remaking. Christ wants to take it from here. Let's learn to live in the attitude that our old nature was buried with Christ. Decide today that it is only a reminder of where we came from and never want to go back to. (Phil.3:16 NLT) We must hold on to the progress we have already made. Push on in the Holy Spirit's power, knowing that He will fill in any gaps between what we are and who we should be. This isn't a break from working at it, only relief and assurance that He is working at it with you

Becoming a Disciple

Jesus grew up in Israel in a Orthodox Jewish region called Gaililee. The Jewish kids in these communities would begin their education of the Torah (1st 5 books of the Old Testament), around age 6. Then about the age of 14 or 15, the Rabbi would begin identifying the best students by how well the understood the text and were able to take it even furtherl. At that point they were invited to become a talmidim (disciple) of a specific Rabbi who called them. If a Rabbi called you to be his disciple, he actually believed he could train you to be like him. If you were not identified and chosen be a Rabbi you then were sent home to learn your families trade.
At the time when Jesus would have been training his students/disciples, He saw two brothers, Simon Peter and his brother Andrew. They were casting nets out into the lake. For they were fishermen. Jesus calls to them to follow him and become his disciples. Some time later Jesus comes upon James and John fishing with their father, Zebedee. They were apprentices learning the family's business. Now these two boys were still with their father. Which would mean they were you teens. Jesus took on both of them to train and make into his disciples. These were four who didn't make the cut! Their local Rabbis didn't think they had what it took to be like them....but, Jesus saw something different.
At one point during Jesus' teaching he comes walking up to the boat some of his disciples are fishing in. They are in the water fishing. Jesus is walking to them on the water. Suddenly Peter gets out because he wants to try walking on the water. But, he begins to sink. Who does Peter loose faith in? Not Jesus. He looses faith in himself.
The whole system of becoming a Rabbi was based on the faith the Rabbi had in his student to be great. Think about all the times in the Bible that Jesus, the Rabbi gets frustrated with his disciples. It's not because they were incapable. It's because of how capable they are. It's not their failure that is the problem, it's their greatness. They don't realize how great and capable they are.
Isn't that so true for us as well? We have no clue how capable we are. I know that's one of the biggest goals we have for our students as youth leaders. For you to see yourselves like God sees you. God has an incredibly high view of his people. We have been taught to have faith in God, but what we need to learn is that God has faith in us.
Think about that? Think about where you are in your life. A parent, a student, an athlete, a coach, etc. What would we be capable of if we really realized the faith God has in us?